Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Pirates and postal workers.

Its happened a few times, at my favourite pub, there have been a few instances where me and my friends have seen people that look like celebrities. One time there was a guy who looked like Danny Devito, another time there was a guy who looked so much like billy Joel that we actually thought he WAS Billy Joel untill he was standing closer and it turned out he was Dutch, which I actually like the idea of. Just imagine it.

Vee Didn't schtaat ze fire!

Anyway. the other night at the pub, I noticed my friend manny looking over my shoulder and having an expression that might've suggested if she kept her laughter in any longer, her face might explode. I super casually looked over my own shoulder, and foud that the man sitting directly behind me was a pirate. I dont even know if i should describe him, basically if i just wlaked up to you and said, 'Think of a pirate please' then the image you've just conjured up is probably exactly what he looked like. Thing is, now that I had pirates on the brain, if affected me and my friends on odd ways. A few days later I was at the shopping complex with my Friend Hoggot, and we stuck behind this man on the escallator and found our selves in an awquard situation because we just had to stand there and pretend we weren't laughing at his eye patch.

 'haha, your lack of depth perception ammuses me ya scurvey sea dog!' not cool.


One thing that i've always like about Australia is that our postmen ride motorbikes, i just like that. and the other day while i was driving home from the shopping complex having just laughing at a man for having one eye, i was driving behind a postal worker on his motorbike. up ahead, andother postal worker was riding his bike the other side of the road coming in our direction. Now, I know theres a brotherhood and comradery in alot of professions, like truckies and cabbies and stuff will often give each other a bit of a solute when they pass, but I've found out that the Posties have taken it to the next level. as they passed each other, they hi-fived.

like this
brooom brrrmm brrrmmmm yo! SLAP! brroooommm  brrrm brrrmmmm

that a 120km hi five!

then they did a bit of a fist pump, i dont know if thats part of their ritual, or they were just shaking their hands cos that hi-five would've  make their hands tingle like a mother-bitch.

I'm not fixing my spelling mistakes today.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Shit!! No Brakes!!.........AGAIN!!!!

Third time for me, I'm not too lucky when it comes to brakes on vehicles. Actually, on second thoughts, maybe I'm very lucky when it comes to brakes on cars, considering on three seperate occasion, I have been driving a car, the brakes have failed, and I have always managed to walk away from it totally unharmed, car unharmed too. AAAACTUALLY, interesting thing is, about a week before the first time it happened, I bought a book called 'the worst case scenario hand-book' and it had all these instructions for what to do in all these terrible situations. Things like 'how to land a plane on water', or 'how to jump from one building to another' aaaaand 'What to do if your car brakes fail'. Thankfully i read it and REMEMBERED it. Totally kept my cool...like the fonz y'all.

I fucked your girlfriend lol.

Oh! and another ting. Haven't blogged for freakin ages cos some crack heads stole my lap top out of my car while I was at a pub quiz. Shit house, came third in the quiz, so no bar coupon so thats just epically shit to begin with, and then! My lap top, my mystical portal to the outside world and staple instrument of internet piracy, and someone had the nerve and tenacity to steal it! PRICKS!!!!

But hey, got my ew laptop now and its killer awesome. Slight problem though, is that I've been downloading so much stuff, that I've maxed out the download capacity...at work. It's bad, cos no one has said anyhting yet, and the internet has slowed down to dial up speeds,  and I hate that, the internet you remember as a ten year old, when you would wait fifteen minutes for the other breast to load. Anyway, I'm rambling,

I'm gonna go sniff some glue and watch ghostbusters, let's see where that gets me.